Wedding Etiquette: Cost Saving Ideas

The National Retail Federation commissioned a survey on consumer spending conducted by a major research firm.  There were many economic indicators that tended to vary by product area.  But when asked to summarize the findings, the conclusion was "spend where you need to, save where you can."  This is good advice for our brides.  Couples coming to us for ideas on how to save money without hurting their wedding dreams find wonderful and practical ideas.


We always counsel our brides to be aware of ways to either bring costs down or keep them in check.  Done in the right places, there are many ways to save on costs and take nothing away from the wedding they have planned.  


Because it is the most costly aspect of most wedding plans, major savings can be realized through reception adjustments.  We recommend that our brides consider the following ideas.

• Look for a location that both fits the occasion and requires very little decorating enhancements.  Many spots are fine the way they are.  If brides wish to add decor, most event planners would agree that creating one large decorative element is not only dramatic, but also more budget friendly than a dozen smaller elements scattered around the room. 
• When considering decorating options, always picture the room full.  We counsel brides not to spend excess dollars on decor items that only the first few guests walking into the room will see.  
• During receptions, caterers will say that people tend to take less food if it is passed by the waitstaff than if it is placed on a buffet table. The same is true of champagne or other beverages.  The good news about this is that less food or liquor can be ordered and guests still feel pampered
• If it is important to the couple to serve a sit down dinner, we suggest that instead of ordering just one high-end entree they order half portions of tow main entree items.  FOr example, combining half portions of prime rib and chicken breast helps to bring down the cost per plate while offering guests a selection with depth. 
• One consultant suggests ordering sandwiches for entertainers and servers instead of the full banquet meal, and having them set up in a separate room from wedding guests.  It gives the staff a place to "get away" for a break and proves food that they can "grab and go" if needed.  For more "invisible" ways to manage costs at your reception talk to one of our experienced consultants.

Elegant Beginnings 

Wedding Etiquette: Church vs Beach Rules

As brides plan the wedding of their dreams, it is important to be cautious to include policies and guidelines that that are likely to be in place at the chosen ceremony venue.  Our consultants know the preferred "rules" of what can and cannot be done at many of the area's churches and beaches and can help guide the bride's planning process.  The most important rule is to consult the appropriate beach owner or church personnel early in the process to be sure the limitations and preferences are clearly understood.  Planning to cooperate fully and pleasantly with guidelines is the order of the day. 

The Church

Typically, a church will not allow permanently attached furniture to be moved.  No thumbtacks or nails can be driven into woodwork nor can anything be used that may deface it.  Saucers or mats must be placed under all plants or floral arrangements that may rest on the floor.  Floral arrangements or candles that require taping to the pews may not be allowed.


All arrangements for music, the ceremony and planned decorations should be submitted well in advance and are subject to approval of the priest, minister, or rabbi.  Many churches have a wedding coordinator with whom the bride will need to work.  This coordinator will be a good source of information for what's possible and what isn't.


Many churches are requiring that decorations be kept to a minimum so as not to detract from the dignity of the sanctuary.  Many churches ask that photographs not be taken at the ceremony.  If the church is large and a favorite venue for many brides, weddings may be scheduled close together on popular weekend dates.  To facilitate traffic movement, many churches will request that photographs be tightly scheduled and that receiving lines be held at the reception location rather than at the church.

The Beach

As one of the most beautiful backdrops a ceremony can have, here at Elegant Beginnings, we love to see couples get married on the beach. Although restrictions are fairly limited and are usually much less than in a church, it is very important to take note of a few factors before making your decision for the ceremony venue.  

First, it is important to know who owns a particular area of beach.  For instance, if a local hotel or resort sits in front of the beach of your dreams, you will need to learn about their requirements from your coordinator.  If it is in a state park or owned by the state, there can be  policies regulated there as well.  For example, often times parks require payment to enter, and it is important to arrange payment well in advance. Other considerations include parking and accessibility, set up ability, and privacy.  Although the beach creates a priceless picturesque background, brides should be aware of possible vacationers or other small distractions, such as seagulls that come with the outdoor setting.  

Remember that each beach or church  will have its own set of requirements and your wedding will be expected to follow them.  Your coordinator will make sure that you are well aware of these well in advance, so that your wedding can be all that you want and more!


Elegant Beginnings 

Wedding Etiquette: Bridesmaids

The history of bridesmaids is time and culture dependent.  However, their main charge seems to have been to “protect” the bride, “intervene” on her behalf, and or help outsmart the evil spirits who gathered as a group at weddings and other happy events.

Today’s bridesmaids still fulfill some of those roles, even if the evil spirit happens to be a former boyfriend with too much champagne and too little class, or a college roommate who thinks it would be fun to “steal” the bride between the ceremony and reception.  Bridesmaids can often be the voice of reason when they hear, “Let’s _____, it will be funny.  You’ll see.”  They can put a stop to nonsense early.

Bridesmaids give up time and money in return for the honor of being witnesses to the bride’s very special day.  We urge our brides to remember the important role they play in her wedding and to pay attention to thanking them for their help and caring.

Here are some tips we have gathered over the years. 

-Selecting the bridesmaids’ dresses does not have to be an occasion of conflict.  Cost, style, color and accessories can be issues only if you let them.  If you can help financially, by all means do so.  If your wedding party represents a wide collection of sizes and shapes, works closely with a skilled and experienced wedding consultant who knows the best vendors to choose to work with your wedding.  An experienced retailer will work hard to make sure that the shopping experience is rewarding for all, and will insure that what you have ordered is what you’ll received.  If the bridal retailer is a member of National Bridal Service, you can relax and know that all will be well.

-Make sure that our bridesmaids are getting enough attention from you.  Keep them in the loop about events and plans.  Accept help if it is offered

-Make sure they have a clear idea of what to do and what you expect.  Your maid of honor can take on the responsibility of keeping all maids in the loop.  Don’t be too demanding, though.

-Be sure to assemble a survival kit for the wedding day.  Work with your personal attendant to make sure all necessary items are in the kit and trust her to bring it to the dressing area of the ceremony location, and to reclaim it after the ceremony.  A good wedding planner will always take care of this.

-Make sure to thank bridesmaids often.  Thoughtful gifts are appreciated.  Take time to ask questions, share concerns, and plan ways to make bridesmaids feel truly a part of this very special day. 

Wedding Etiquette: Cash Requested?

There are a number of web site and blogs that have-in effect- approved the request for a cash gift as a “discreet mention” on the wedding invitation.  We can hardly believe that someone who claims to be a wedding professional is offering that kind of advice to brides.  Some do acknowledge that it is difficult to ask for money and that some guests may take offense.

Every professional wedding planner or consultant should acknowledge the first rule stated beautifully by Emily Post.  “Some traditions never go out of style.  A few that hold true: No mention of gifts, event “no gifts, please” is made on a wedding invitation.”  This holds doubly true for cash.  “Sharing information ion a wedding website is fine, and that site may offer registry information.”  The guideline is: Don’t include registry or gift information with your invitation.  It is in poor taste to include a list of places where the bride and groom are registered or a checklist of the things they do and don’t want.  And this guide certainly applies to cash.

We do acknowledge that outside of the very formal traditional invitation where wording follows a time-honored formula, more couples are choosing new wording options.  The best advice to give brides is that any wording they chose that is both “respectful of their guests and true to themselves will be fine.” (Emily Post)  It is important that invitations read as correct grammatical statements and provide guests with all the information they need about who, when, where, and how to reply.

There is no way to dictate to guests what they choose to give, and if the bride is asked what she would like by a close relative, it is fine to answer honestly and politely that the couple is saving for a down payment on a house, but whatever the person chooses will be appreciated.  Rely on parents, friends, and attendants to spread the word that cash gifts are appreciated or have those same people provide the information about where the couple is registered.

For more help with etiquette questions, please contact us to talk over your issues with one of our experienced consultants.

Elegant Beginnings 

Monday Wedding Notes: Reception Trends


Reflecting both economic issues and generational trends, we are seeing some shifts in the wedding sites being chosen, the foods served and the size of the wedding itself.  We meet with brides who are asking for ideas for their "smaller but tasteful" weddings.  


These are some of the key ideas brides are embracing as they plan receptions. 


They are trimming the guest list.  After creating a rough draft of all the possible guests, and multiplying that number by the caterer/reception venue chef's estimate per person costs, couples are balancing the guest list with their budgets.


Budget conscious brides are selecting other days and times than Saturday evening.  By selecting a morning or afternoon wedding and reception, there can be up to a 25% reduction in reception costs for food and beverages.  If the couple were to select another evening other than Saturday, the savings can be approximately 10%.  


We are also seeing a change in foods served at evening weddings.  We are seeing trends toward smaller portions.  MOre couples are choosing to serve passed hors d'oeuvres and appetizers instead of a sit down dinner.  Couples are choosing finger foods to eat while walking around and talking.  


While couples will still have a wedding cake for pictures, it tends to be much smaller than those previously ordered.  In place of the large wedding cake, they are serving cupcakes, cake bites, cake pops on sticks and push cakes- all a part of the "finger food" trend.  


In some areas, dessert "stations" remain popular additions to the centerpiece wedding.  Brides have chosen cheesecake stations, chocolate stations, pie stations, and sundae/frozen yogurt stations that feature mini root beer floats and ice cream sandwiches along with various toppings.  


Contact and talk with one of your experienced Elegant-Beginnings wedding consultants who can give you many more ideas to create the wedding that is smaller, more intimate, and more reflective of your style. 

Wedding Notes: Thoughts on Wedding Etiquette

We know that nothing stays the same, not even wedding etiquette.  With friends and families scattered across continents, a number of beautiful and time-honored marriage "rules" have had to adapt to a new society.

Today, a busy guest is more likely to fill in a pre-printed response card than to send a hand written response to a wedding invitation.  Members of the wedding party are apt to find details of the rehearsal dinner posted on the wedding website or sent directly to their email. 

DOes this mean that traditional etiquette is as outmoded as the eight-track tape?  Definitely not! This is especially true if the wedding is a formal affair.  A church ceremony black tie reception and 200 guests still demands that attention to be paid to protocol.  Our experienced consultants can be your best resource for doing the "right" thing.  

What has not changed is that whatever rules the bride chooses to follow will be largely a matter of good sense, courtesy, and practicality.

Lacey Brown

Elegant Beginnings

www.elegant-beginnings.com

Wedding Notes: The Paper Trousseau 


We remind our brides that getting the guest list ready and the invitation order placed is a big job, but it is not the only part of your wedding paper trousseau.  In addition to you personalized thank you cards, reply cards and envelopes, napkins and programs- there are other paper items to choose. 


For a sit-down dinner, select table and place cards if you wish.  Use paper and ribbons to match your invitations.  Calligraphy will ad an elegant and personal touch to each card.  


For an evening reception we suggest that you use bright and rich colored inks since the room is likely to be dimly lit.  Menu cards tell your guests that you took time to carefully select a well-planned menu for their enjoyments.  Use vellum paper stock as it will look special.  Smaller cards can be placed at each plate, or if you are planning a buffet, a framed menu card at each end of the table works well.


We offer a gentle reminder that once home from your honeymoon, it is time to write thank you notes.  Proper etiquette suggests that you respond within three months after the wedding, thanking people for their presence as well as their generosity.  


Do let our experienced consultants help insure that your paper trousseau is complete.


Elegant Beginnings
elegant-beginnings.com

Wedding Notes: Your  Wedding Website

Increasing in popularity and use are individual wedding websites.  Today’s bridal couple is likely to be “wired” in that they are techno savvy and used to on line information gathering and sharing.  Couples have seen the websites on their soon-to-be married friends and have some ideas about the site they will create for themselves.  In our years of working with brides, here are some of the best components that we have seen. 

Many websites begin with the story of the couple’s courtship, how they met, how the groom proposed and their detailed wedding plans. This is helpful to add a personal touch for your guests.

The website is a good way to introduce and profile the attendants chosen for the wedding- both the bride’s and the groom’s.  You can include pictures of them and let the guests know a little bit about them.  Site visitors should be able to learn about the fun and friendship that has developed over the years and know why someone was chosen to be such an important part of the celebration. 

Include pictures of the ceremony and reception site and even the honeymoon destination if it isn’t a secret. 

Some brides include photos and information about china, crystal, and silver patterns chosen and often list the stores where the registry items are recorded as a help to invited guests. 

A few words of warning however, resist expecting guests to reply to invitations via email.  Do not send thank you notes that way either.  Some things are still done the traditional way in spite of electronic innovations.  Our experienced consultants can share other good ideas for using the Internet as an effective communication tool for your wedding.

Lacey Brown

Elegant Beginnings

Wedding Notes: Beautiful Bride or Bridezilla?


A beautiful bride is one that is just that: beautiful inside and out! The ideal bride-to-be is a charming, glowing, happy individual who sees the world through the traditional rose-colored glasses.  Unfortunately, the actions of some of her "sisters", who may have earned the 21st century media title of "Bridezilla", tarnish that view of a bride.  There is even a TV show dedicated to featuring these types of brides at their worst.


However, we want our brides to be happy! We want them to have fun experiencing the joys of wedding planning while leaving the heavy duty work to us.  We also want to allow them the ability to focus on the warm thoughts from relatives and guests who see her at her very best- gracious and focused on others.  the best bride is one who shares her happiness with family and friends in a genuine way.  We have to believe that no one wants to be referred to as a "Bridezilla".  How embarrassing is that?


Here are some areas and behaviors for you- the bride to be- to avoid if you don't want to wear the reptillian title.  

Non-stop wedding talk is exhausting- for both you and your friends.  It is good that you have enthusiasm for the upcoming nuptials, but not everyone else is focused on your big day as much as you are.  Keep the perspective and realize as one guest states, "The world is still turning outside of the bride's wedding realm."  Your wedding is our focus at Elegant Beginnings, but not everyone necessarily shares that focus 24/7.  So relieve the stress from yourself and others by talking about something everyone can relate to like their plans for Halloween!


Realize that the "me first" attitude is unbecoming.  People wish you well and want you to be happy, but it is unrealistic to expect everyone within your social circle to drop everything to focus on your wedding.  That is why you have us! We can provide that focus to you at any time.  :) 


Avoid going well over your budget.  Experts say that "spending excessively to achieve what is perceived as perfection is bridezilla behavior." Let our experienced consultants help you manage your budget and produce a fabulous wedding withing those constraints.  


Don't expect preferential treatment. Be courteous to vendors and allow us to use our relationship with them to ensure the best service.  If you have hired a professional to provide a service at your wedding, respect their skill and expertise and treat them as the professional they are.


Keep in mind the family, friends, and fiancee.  No plans or details are worth ignoring the most important people in your life. Cherish this time you have to share the moment with them, making sure not to block them out of your life because you are overwhelmed with the wedding. Let us take care of that. Let us worry about the details, while you spend time with the ones you love.


Until next Monday!


Lacey

We just love the sleek and sophisticated look of JLM! Check out their website and blog for bridal gown inspiration:


http://www.jlmcouture.com/Jim-Hjelm
http://www.jlmcouture.com/blog/

Wedding Notes

Check out this article from the Knot!

Bachelor Parties: How to Deal With His Bachelor Party

Don't worry -- you're hardly the first bride to feel uncomfortable about the bachelor party. Though out-of-control antics on movies and TV make it look like total debauchery is headed your future husband's way, the real-life version will likely be a bit more mundane. If it's making you 

uncomfortable, read on for some honest info and advice.

Let Him Have It

We don't mean unleash your inner bridezilla. If he wants to have a bachelor party, let him. It's an important guy ritual to blow off steam prewedding and for him to reassure his pals that he's still "one of the guys" even though he's making a commitment to marriage. This is a good thing: After all, you're planning on keeping your circle of friends tight postwedding, so he should have his crew too.

The Unexpected Is a Possibility

Bachelor parties aren't exactly what they used to be. Rather than the stereotypical evening of strippers and stogies, many men today are opting for other types of parties. Taking a weekend trip with the guys -- think outdoorsy activities like white-water rafting and fly-fishing -- is a popular option. Even those who stay closer to home might go with an unconventional activity that's fun and out of the ordinary, like suiting up for some paintball or touring a local brewery.

Communicate Your Limits

Be open about your feelings. This doesn't mean nag him endlessly; it means tell him what makes you uncomfortable. Saying, "Thinking about you hiring a stripper makes me feel unhappy" is very different than saying, "You'll hire a stripper over my dead body." Remember, this is your fiance here -- he wants you to be happy. Letting him know your threshold for wild-and-craziness is totally acceptable, and he should appreciate that you were willing to tell him. It can also potentially open up an important dialogue about your relationship: You need to know that you can trust him, and he you.

Remember Your Own

Don't forget -- you get to do this too. If your bachelorette party is going to be a spa day, that's one thing, but if you're hitting the town looking fabulous with your girlfriends, that's totally another. When you're talking about the bachelor party, be sure to talk about the bachelorette party as well: It's only fair that the two of you play by the same rules. Setting a mutual limit also makes the whole process feel less like each partner constraining the other and more about setting boundaries within your relationship.

On the Big Night

Do not, we repeat, do not sit at home watching the clock and wondering what he's doing. Make plans of your own, get out of the house, and go have a good time! Even if you aren't up for going out to a club, surely you can muster the energy to go to the movies with a friend or two. The scenarios you come up with in your head are most likely a thousand times more lurid than anything that's actually going on -- and if you've followed our advice so far, you should be able to feel okay about things anyway. Remember, there might be a lot of girls out there, but you are the one he wants to marry.

-- Kate Wood

Wedding Notes

Tips for Brides: Reception Ideas

Because the reception is usually the single largest expense in any wedding, there are tons of ideas and inspiration available. Because times have changed, the economy is different, and the bride and groom are different, the focus on the reception as the celebratory segment of a wedding event has changed somewhat as well. Here are some things to keep in mind for your wedding reception:

Leave the reception before your guests…

It used to be the “rule”.  The wedding couple changed into their “traveling clothes” and left the reception to begin their honeymoon.  Today’s couples have challenged that tradition and are frequently the last to leave their reception.  In some cases, it becomes a waiting game.  No one is sure who should leave when, so no one does.  One can speculate about the reason for this need to be the last to leave the party, but it can prove awkward.  Be gracious and leave before your guests begin to not off at their tables.  It was a super party, but someone has to leave.

Whatever your budget for the reception, DO IT WELL!

If you don’t have the money for a sit down dinner, switch to a buffet.  Don’t skimp.  Do what you can afford to do beautifully. Switch days, switch times, switch venues-do whatever gives you the  most beautiful ceremony and reception within your budget.  Don’t try to reach a level that you cannot afford.  Skimping always shows.

Let your focus at the reception be on your guests. 

This is a huge party/celebration you are hosting.  And hosting means that the focus is on the guests.  The first rule of entertaining guests is to consider their time and attention.  That means: cut down the time between the ceremony and reception.  Don’t make them wait several hours between events.  If the lag time is two hours, that is too much.  Also, work hard to have the venues for the reception and ceremony close together; or better yet let your wedding coordinator do this for you!

Cut down the guest list…

You don’t need to have the largest reception in the Florida Panhandle! Invite only those people who matter to you both.  Surves have shown that after several years, couples look at their wedding photos and are amazed by the number of guests they cannot name.  To a person, those couples regret having invited people who really don’t matter to their important event.

Remember, it is your day, but it is also the groom’s day as well. Make the day special for you both.  For advice on other issues that can complicate a wedding, ask your coordinator for advice.  They can be your best source for answers. 

For wedding reception ideas and inspiration, check out our Pinterest boards!

Bridal Expo coming to Destin! 


San Destin Golf and Beach Resort
Sunday, February 19, 2012 
from 12:30-4:00pm!


9300 US Highway 98 W, Destin, FL

WEDDING NOTES – What Should I Do?

At Elegant Beginnings, we gladly help our brides with awkward situations that don’t necessarily make their way into etiquette books. In spite of all the advice available from so many resources, brides like to have an experienced specialist – a knowledgeable consultant, a certified wedding planner- available for face-to-face problem solving. Our staff is available for your unexpected problems and issues. Every wedding is unique and so can the problems presented by the people factor. This is a question we are repeatedly asked.

How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on the reply card that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number invited?

If your count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners of those guests and just greet them with as much good grace as you can muster. If your count is already pushing you over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extra folks, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, tactful bridesmaid or family member who knows the offending guests well. Ask this person to call the guests in question and explain that the bride would love to be able to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, time or space concerns! If the person is offended – and some will be – they are not true friends. They are the ones who have overstepped the etiquette boundaries.

Often, the “extras” are uninvited children. You can keep this from happening if the reception card reads, “adult only reception”. Or you can arrange for children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere in the same venue. You provide a number of “sitters”, a giant screen TV, movies, lots of craft items and separate menu handled by family members.

Check out our Pinterest page for reception, decor, and flower ideas! 

WEDDING NOTES – Time Management


Here at Elegant Beginnings we assist our brides with all aspects of their wedding plans.  One of our continuing requests is for help in managing the time between the ceremony and the reception.

v  One of our first suggestions is that the travel time for guests moving from the location of the ceremony to the start of the reception be minimized.  Take it into account when booking the reception venue.  Guests shouldn’t have to drive more that 20-30 minutes.

v  We urge our brides to take as many of their photographs as possible prior to the ceremony and to minimize the number to be taken after the ceremony.   Insure that guests who arrive at the reception site before the wedding party, are greeted by the official host and hostess of the reception.  The names of these hosts should be listed in the program.

v  While awaiting the arrival of the wedding group, the guests should be served beverages and appetizers.  Music should be playing when the guests arrive.  Be sure that a coat check is available, that the gift table is in plain sight with a person assigned to manage the table.  Do have someone available to help with seating plans.

v  Once the bridal entourage arrives at the reception site, the bandleader or maitre d’ or reception host should ask the seated guests to stand while he/she introduces the party. Since the bride and groom are the evening’s stars, they should be introduced last.

v  Introductions and entrances flow in this order:  first the parents of the bride, then the

v  parents of the groom, followed by the “little people” (depending on their ages), bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the maid of honor and best man.  Once the bridal party is in place, then the bride and groom are introduced and make their grand entrance.

v  Make sure that the names are double checked for pronunciation and that information is passed on to the person in charge or reception host.

For personalized favors, gifts, and decor:

http://www.myownlabels.com/weddings/

For beautiful aisle runners:
http://originalrunners.com/

Attention all Brides!


Check out this adorable wedding blog for additional inspiration!


Founded in 2008, The Sweetest Occasion is a wedding and lifestyle blog devoted to event design and details for celebrating stylish events, weddings and special occasions. A devoted following of readers come for content covering a diverse yet highly edited range of wedding ideas, party inspiration, paper and stationery, handmade goods, entertaining, decor and featured events of all shapes and sizes. With a steadily growing readership of brides, newlyweds, young moms, hostesses and paper lovers, The Sweetest Occasion is a go-to source for design ideas and event inspiration.

http://www.thesweetestoccasion.com/about/

Girls Day Out!

Girls Day Out!

Today we had the best time!  

Tami and I decided to get out of the office and visit local Resorts and businesses in the area. We found two new businesses that we had to share with all of you!  Meet Sheri with Sweet Bay Prints, we stopped in to introduce ourselves and we fell in LOVE with her shop.  These are just some of the things she offers:

-fine personalized papers and gifts for adult and child

-custom designs and printing for events

-personalized party supplies and tableware

-wedding party gifts

Santa Rosa Beach

Sheri can help you with all types of invitations, save the date, thank you cards

Perfect programs on a hot summer wedding day!

Welcome gift bags, bridesmaids gifts....

Our Next Stop!

Ophelia Swimwear Boutique

Ladies, if you are looking for the perfect honeymoon swimsuit, cover-up's, hat's or gifts for your bridesmaids this is the place for you!  If you are the Grayton Beach area, be sure to check it out.

TIME FOR BREAK!

Break, lunch, research..... we had lunch at the The Back Porch Restaurant in Destin.  Great place for lunch, dinner, relaxing by the beach or a laid back reception area.  They have an upstairs area that is perfect for the bride wanting to get married on the beach and then have dinner overlooking the beach.  It is great for a rehearsal dinner as well.  Great atmosphere!

Just waiting for a table...

Tami and I doing research.... one of our Brides is looking for a blue drink for her reception... so why not help her look for the perfect drink!  Right?

Look at this view!