WEDDING NOTES – What Should I Do?
At Elegant Beginnings, we gladly help our brides with awkward situations that don’t necessarily make their way into etiquette books. In spite of all the advice available from so many resources, brides like to have an experienced specialist – a knowledgeable consultant, a certified wedding planner- available for face-to-face problem solving. Our staff is available for your unexpected problems and issues. Every wedding is unique and so can the problems presented by the people factor. This is a question we are repeatedly asked.
How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on the reply card that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number invited?
If your count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners of those guests and just greet them with as much good grace as you can muster. If your count is already pushing you over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extra folks, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, tactful bridesmaid or family member who knows the offending guests well. Ask this person to call the guests in question and explain that the bride would love to be able to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, time or space concerns! If the person is offended – and some will be – they are not true friends. They are the ones who have overstepped the etiquette boundaries.
Often, the “extras” are uninvited children. You can keep this from happening if the reception card reads, “adult only reception”. Or you can arrange for children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere in the same venue. You provide a number of “sitters”, a giant screen TV, movies, lots of craft items and separate menu handled by family members.
