There are a number of web site and blogs that have-in effect- approved the request for a cash gift as a “discreet mention” on the wedding invitation. We can hardly believe that someone who claims to be a wedding professional is offering that kind of advice to brides. Some do acknowledge that it is difficult to ask for money and that some guests may take offense.
Every professional wedding planner or consultant should acknowledge the first rule stated beautifully by Emily Post. “Some traditions never go out of style. A few that hold true: No mention of gifts, event “no gifts, please” is made on a wedding invitation.” This holds doubly true for cash. “Sharing information ion a wedding website is fine, and that site may offer registry information.” The guideline is: Don’t include registry or gift information with your invitation. It is in poor taste to include a list of places where the bride and groom are registered or a checklist of the things they do and don’t want. And this guide certainly applies to cash.
We do acknowledge that outside of the very formal traditional invitation where wording follows a time-honored formula, more couples are choosing new wording options. The best advice to give brides is that any wording they chose that is both “respectful of their guests and true to themselves will be fine.” (Emily Post) It is important that invitations read as correct grammatical statements and provide guests with all the information they need about who, when, where, and how to reply.
There is no way to dictate to guests what they choose to give, and if the bride is asked what she would like by a close relative, it is fine to answer honestly and politely that the couple is saving for a down payment on a house, but whatever the person chooses will be appreciated. Rely on parents, friends, and attendants to spread the word that cash gifts are appreciated or have those same people provide the information about where the couple is registered.
For more help with etiquette questions, please contact us to talk over your issues with one of our experienced consultants.
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